Don't you dare call me. . . . . . . .. . .

Any of the following names when we are on the phone discussing a patient or if you are the patient and I'm answering your questions.

Hon-Sorry, not your hon.

Honey-unless you are my mom, but she works in finance so doesn't fit the above description

Sweetie-unless you're one of my parents, neither of whom work in health care

Sugar-don't even dare

Babe or Baby-unless you're Mr.CooksALot

Love(y)-prepare to forfeit your ear, I will rip it off over the phone if you call me this!

Missy-I will inflict bodily injury over the phone if you use this

Child-I don't know you, I am not your child!

I recently was speaking with a patient about her prior authorization and I almost completely lost it as she repeatedly called me Honey and Hon.  I let it slide when the voice (or DOB if a patient) indicates someone who is much older than I am.  This was a 23 year-old calling me this.  I about told her off, but didn't as I need my paycheck.  It is actually exponentially worse when these terms of endearment come from a man, unless as previously stated, he is of advanced age and doesn't sound creepy or shady.  I will ask them to stop calling me by those terms and cross my fingers they don't get off subject in our conversation.  This happens rarely, as I can be a chicken and try to keep my professionalism to a maximum at all times.  It has however, happened. 

For the record, to the creepy, sleazy sounding pharmacy owner in New Jersey: NO, I WILL NOT take a trip to your state soon, you will not, I repeat will not call me babydoll, and I WILL NOT be calling you to show me around.  EVER.  The fact that you told me I sound very beautiful and like an amazingly interesting woman didn't help either.  You really freaked me out and I am now thoroughly weirded out.  Thanks a lot.